Recently I had the privilege of leading kirtan at the Gay Healers Circle here in LA. “GHC is a group of professional LGBT life coaches, psychologists, massage therapists, yoga instructors, medical professionals, ministers, energy workers and other healers dedicated to serving all communities.” No venue could have been more appropriate for me to share kirtan.
Ever since this practice has taken root within me I’ve had this longing to share it with my gay family. Why? Mostly because of how kirtan has been such a force for healing, connection, and reclaiming my devotion.
As a young boy growing up in a very fundamentalist Mississippi, I had 2 very profound realizations:
1. I was deeply connected to spirit, deeply devoted to the Divine, the Sacred, or God, as I understood it at that time.
2. I was deeply gay.
These realizations were quite problematic for obvious reasons. Over the years, guilt, shame, and self hatred, took their toll by creating crater size wounds in my heart and spirit. How would this conflict ever be resolved? It seemed so impossible. So hopeless. I must admit, my approach to solving this dilemma was quite creative at times. It included everything from circuit parties to taking up residence in a Buddhist Mediation Center.
But it wasn’t until I discovered kirtan that my heart, head, and spirit all seemed to find each other again. Shri Ram Jai Ram, Om Namah Shivaya, Hare Krishna, opened up channels and broke down all the constructed boundaries of my small, limited self.
Kirtan has helped me to realize that I am whole, I am complete, I am lacking nothing. And it is from here, from this sacred space, this holy ground of being, that I am able to sing, chant, and be a vessel for service to the greater good.
