Time to Go

Well, it’s about that time. Time to do what I’ve tried 3 times already to do. Leave India.  I guess it helps that my visa is expiring because otherwise I think I would be 2^nd guessing my 4^th attempt.  This country has done to me what it seems to do to everyone—firmly embed itself deep in the hearts and minds of all who cross its borders for a life changing journey.

I had such a wonderful surprise today as one of my former colleagues at Merck drove over from Bangalore to spend the day with me.   Her visit came at such an opportune time.  It was so thrilling to hear of her impressions of India and to be able to relate mine to her.  I know now that I’m ready to leave.  For now at least. Talking to Miriam helped me to see the importance of giving continual life to this journey by sharing it with others.

So when I return to LA June 6^th, I hit the ground running. I’ve agreed to teach a Sivananda yoga workshop at the end of June in my hometown of Tupelo, Mississippi.  Nothing could make me happier than to have my first “out of ashram” teaching experience in the place where I grew up. 

When I spoke to the owner of the studio a few weeks ago I suggested a class. She suggested a weekend workshop.  Why not, I thought.  Actually, I feel like I could teach an entire course with all that I’ve learned in the past 5 months.  So I’m ready, I’m really ready to go home. Not because I want to leave this magnificent country and all its richness.  And not because I’m homesick.  But because I know that I’m ready to teach. Finally ready to formally give to others what so many have given to me.  I’ve realized how incredibly fortunate I am to have received so many teachings and guidance over the past many years, that it would be irresponsible and selfish of me not to share it.   The image of the Michelin Man comes to mind when I think about receiving years of instruction and teachings without giving back.  I know that I could continue to inflate myself with more and more classes for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to spontaneously combust by holding all this knowledge inside.  There just comes a time when you have to give others the opportunity of benefiting from your experiences.  So for me, that time is now.

This bit of clarity really helps as I make my travel plans and say my good byes.  It’s going to be brutal leaving the kids at the orphanage tomorrow.  Anand, Krishna, Ulas, Vikshita, and especially Sundar, the 11 year old with Cerebral Palsy, such a beautiful gift he has been to me. This experience, along with many others, has been such an unexpected delight. I really thought I knew how this whole Indian thing was going to go when I first arrived here in December.  I would complete my yoga teacher training in February, tour India for 2 weeks, go back to LA, get a job, and maybe teach yoga somewhere, some time in the future. Oh, that makes me laugh.  How small of me.  How limiting. I’m so grateful that I have met  many people along the way who challenged and inspired me to think and dream bigger. What is it that you want with your life?  What would mean the most to you? And what if you could do anything that you wanted to do? Now all these wonderfully stimulating questions are starting not to seem so scary.  That actually excite me.  Mostly because now I know how to answer them.