Interesting that I would think that the journey would not begin until I leave LA. Quite the contrary. I have found myself over the past week frantically trying to get everything done that I think needs to be done before I leave. Primarily getting my house ready for the folks who will be staying here while I’m gone. However, the task that seems to be causing me the most distress is yoga. Yoga?? Isn’t that suppose to do just the opposite. Well, normally yes. But after going to a few sessions at the Sivananda Center(the tradition with which I’m doing my teacher training in India) , I started to feel panicky. The style of yoga is different from anything I’ve ever done. Lots of breathing(like 20 minutes worth), chanting, and relaxing in between poses. Hmm, I’m now thinking, I’ve just signed up for this training and I don’t know if it’s really right for me. Oh dear, what am I going to do? What if it’s not “it”? What if it’s not what I’m looking for? What if I don’t like it after all?
In addition, there’s the arduous task of getting from Burbank to Marina del Rey at 530pm. I’ve decided it’s actually easier to get from LA to India that it is to make that trek. So what to do? Where’s all this panic and suffering coming from? I realized after examining my crazy mind, that it was coming from my belief that all these changes have to look a certain way. They have to mean a certain thing. Why not just let go of my outcome expectations and let the experiences be what they are? Perhaps they will be “it”. Or perhaps they will simply be. I laugh at myself when I consider this: you throw yourself into the fire of change and you complain about the heat. Did you think it was going to be easy?
