Discipline versus Commitment

So often I find myself struggling with the idea of self-discipline. It’s not something I would say that I have a lot of. Why IS that? I mean, I meditate regularly, have a consistent yoga practice, set goals, make necessary sacrifices to achieve them, etc. I know that I can come of with a list of reasons that would support the presence of self-discipline in my life. However, I think it’s just easier and more familiar for me to look at others who are more disciplined, more devoted, more successful, etc.,then decide that I am not a person who possesses self-discipline. Because others have more, I must have none.

Crazy, illogical thinking no doubt. But I know I’m not the only one who thinks this way. It’s just another piece of wood in that big club we use to beat ourselves up with.

A great deal of my inner work these days, has been to recognize when that old tape starts playing in my head, and then simply refuse to listen to it. Carry on as if it weren’t true at all. It’s annoying to have to work so hard at it, but I’m just getting sick and tired of that damn club.

Another tool, I recently discovered came from an article I read recently from Judith Hanson Lasater(http://www.judithlasater.com/)addressing the difference between discipline and commitment. Instead of explaining it, I wanted to simply include it here:

“There is a big difference between discipline and commitment. Discipline is something that is externally generated. It is a “should”. We have often internalized this “should” as the concept of discipline into our own inner voices; this is the voice we hear inside berating us when we don’t practice.

Commitment, on the other hand, is a choice we make of our own volition. The difference between discipline and commitment is conflict. When we are imposing discipline upon ourselves we are in conflict with ourselves. Arguing inside, “yes, no, yes, no”. But when we are committed, there is no conflict, no argument, no problem.

Comforting words for someone like me who is so driven, yet intensely self critical and judgmental.