Vipassana Report

It’s been a week now since I have returned from this wonderfully transformative retreat and am still trying to process all that happened. Like any intense spiritual experience on the mountaintop, it can be awkward returning to the valley, both literally and figuratively.  I’m trying to do what we did for 10 days, observe the sensations.

The Vipassana technique essentially involves just that. Scan through your body and observe the sensations as they arise without craving the feel good ones, and without avoiding the not so feel good ones.  Developing equanimity at the most subtle level of mind possible.  This, according to Vipassana, is the ticket to personal liberation.

I can’t begin to capture all that I experienced during this spiritual marathon.  I’m just so happy to have completed it without totally losing my mind. Starting at 430am and continuing until 9pm(with breaks of course) everyday was a daunting task for anyone, experienced meditator or not.  A couple of times during the sessions where we were instructed not to physically move for one hour, I thought--if I make it through without completely ripping off my clothes and running naked through the adjacent field, I will consider myself successful.  Challenging is putting in mildly. But that’s the nature of the mind isn’t it. Anywhere but here. That’s why I’m so distracted when I try to embrace stillness. My mind loves to dart away and be busy with planning the future, or craving the past.  Craving, avoiding, craving, avoiding…contributes to so much mental pain and suffering. 

So that’s what I did on my summer vacation--looked at the fluctuations of my mind. And yes, though it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, the rewards are immeasurable. Just developing better concentration is reason enough for celebration. All that constant chatter in my head really wears me down. Constant repetition of the same deluded thoughts.  Not hearing that for longer and longer periods of time brought so much peace. THAT’s what I want to incorporate more into my life.  I’ve actually decided it’s my life’s work, being present.  Because there is nothing but peace in the present moment.

That is my gift from Vipassana.  Accepting my life as it presents itself today. My happiness is now. Not when I achieve this, or when I accomplish that. It’s now, today. If not today, then never.

So today I celebrate all these and other wonderful gifts I have received during the past year.  I never dreamed I would take a year off and embark on this journey of a lifetime.  I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and humility.   

I return to the working world in 2 weeks. Dreams in motion continue.